My Happiness Killer

Happiness. It’s the one word that makes itself to everyone’s wish list. One feeling that everyone seems to have an endless appetite for. With description like this you would expect the whole world will work together to achieve it. Well forget world, at least we ourselves will work towards achieving it. But no, we don’t. We aren’t that clever. We homo sapiens have this inscrutable almost kooky behaviour of stabbing our own foot with a knife even though we hate pain or perhaps in this context I should say kick our own happiness in the gut.

I wish I could say that I’m far removed from this juvenile behaviour. But no I’m not. It’s as simple as that. Half of my source of unhappiness is my own doing. To be honest it’s most certainly more than half. I can’t be the only one who feels a pinch of sorrow from seeing others Instagram or Facebook posts. I feast my Instagram hungry eyes everyday at-least once by scrolling though the Insta feed, and then wondering why my life is such a bore. Why I’m not enjoying vacations like my friends even though I just went to one a week before. Why can’t my pictures be as beautiful as everyone else’s. And there people is where my happiness jumped off the cliff into a roaring sea. It decided to die rather than be with me. Can’t blame it, after all I have such a self patronizing attitude towards own life that even if happiness knocks on my door I’ll just make it stand there and get all anxious as to how long will it last.

Luckily this is the one area where I know for a fact I’m not the only one. We all are to some degree measuring,comparing and judging our success, beauty and quality of life with respect to others, not realizing there will always be someone having a better time. Someone will be having a gala time in Switzerland while you do your office job or perhaps enjoying a concert when your college assignments are planning a full fledged attack on you. Yes I have a lot of assignments. I’m a college student in India. If all my professors didn’t jut shower me with assignments in one week it won’t be engineering. 😛

But there is one solution to this.Not my assignments which I should be completing, but for my unhappiness triggers. At least one that helps me sometimes if not all the time. Harry Potter. 😛 Whenever I feel everything around me is Raining on my Parade I sit and watch a clip of Harry Potter or read short stories related to it. If not that then I jam on to my favourite songs(Linkin park and Rock on songs are my favourite). Finding happiness in small things. I guess that’s what this is.

The truth is that this world is a vicious place where pretty much everyone breeds on the sorrow of others. Chatur is no longer just one guy in college, he’s no longer one in a million, he’s almost everywhere and in everyone. And it’s all easy to preach about how to be happy but that doesn’t change the reality. My reality. Reality that this adult here is trying. Trying to be optimistic and courageous. Trying to understand the subtleties of life and hoping that someday she can write about how she conquered her fears like Bruce Wayne. Used her Bats to her advantage. Till then, she’ll just carry on and Hustle Harder.

4 thoughts on “My Happiness Killer

  1. It happened with me always!! Comparing my life with others on social media,etc and staying unhappy…being an introvert makes it all the more difficult! I quit social media and started to learn to be happy in what i have and doing more in what gives me pleasure…i will not say i am 100% happy but definitely improved!! I read the following somewhere and it has stuck to my mind since – people are not that much unhappy due to their own sadness but more so because of seeing others’ happiness!! 😄 …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Finding happiness in small things is definitely the key! My sister used to tease me with ‘simple things please simple minds’ but this natural tendency has protected me through life’s knocks and rollercoaster rides!
    Keep on recognising your happiness triggers – fab phrase – they will stand you in good stead. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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